Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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