So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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