So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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