I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
