He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
