the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize