just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize