Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he was CRYING into my vagina
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
