i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Send help, water and tortillas.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize