You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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