the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think a kid would responsible me up
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
