Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
