with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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