I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
