LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
