I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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