Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize