well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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