Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
