last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize