You're my little dorito
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize