I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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