Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
