I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It was confusing and full of hummus
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
