Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
