Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize