she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
