what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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