Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If its not for food we ain't going out.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
