am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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