you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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