forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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