so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
