FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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