I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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