Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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