I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
