My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
