Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize