Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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