I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I need help removing her.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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