Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We have started to decorate penises.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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