I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
