i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
