Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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