We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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