Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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