He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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