Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize