You smell like stripper and shame
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
