I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
