That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize