I got chris browned last night
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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