His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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