i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
