That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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