Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My hand turned me down
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
