2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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