I want to stick my p in your. b.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
